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Halloween Humor: ‘Twas Halloween Night
‘Twas Halloween night as I leaped from my bed,
With thoughts of amusement going through my head.
Turned off my computer and thought as I may
Of vampires of old and vampires of today.
Of spooky old movies and Halloween parties,
Of course trick or treating
(hope they don’t hand out Smarties).
And witches and ghosts and gravediggers, I fear,
So that old haunted house, I will never go near.
When you see spooky places, just take my advice,
And don’t go in rooms filled with ghosts, bats, and mice.
So don’t risk your life going looking for spooks,
Just go to a party with some good friendly kooks.
Or gather your family, carve a pumpkin and think
What to have your kids do, and go pick up a drink.
Tell a joke to your friends, but be careful, you’ll see
That a couple wrong moves might mean eternity.
Now put on that costume and dress yourself up.
You can be Ninja Nun or that RCA Pup.
But be very careful or else you might see
That ghosts and vampires aren’t really PC.
So now you can think, as you turn out that light
That there’s no such thing and that you are all right.
Look under your bed, though, and then you might see…
Nothing! We aren’t afraid of ghosts now, are we?
Halloween: Party Ideas (3)
Planning a Halloween Party!!!
Freeze gummy worms and other wiggly creatures into ice cubes. Float them in your
party drinks or make a big splash in a punch bowl.
Cover your Halloween table with burlap fabric. Cut corrugated cardboard into
scary jagged shapes to use as place mats.
For an eerie effect, hang glow-in-the-dark bats from the ceiling and turn out
the lights.
Play the trick and treats game. Individually number brown paper bags. Put a
small toy prize or treat in each. Prepare pieces of paper, each with a number
and a designated trick, like hopping on one foot or doing a somersault. Put all
the numbers in a bowl. Have each child pick one and perform the trick written on
it. Then they get the corresponding numbered treat bag!
Play a tape of haunted house sound effects amplified outside your house, or as
background ambience for your party.
Graveyard Halloween Cake
Bake a chocolate cake and frost with chocolate frosting.
Stand up some small square chocolate bars around the cake to make the
tombstones, add a few gummy worms, push the base of a tootie pop or other round
sucker into the cake and place a small piece of kleenix over the top of the
sucker to make ghosts. Place skeletons, black cats, or any other small
halloween-related decorations on the cake.
Start a group ghost story. Sit in a circle and start a ghost story. Each guest
adds on to the story until it reaches its unnatural scary ending!
Serve fiendish punch or spiced apple cider from a large hollowed-out pumpkin.
Serve dips and other fiendish snacks from smaller, hollowed-out pumpkins and
gourds.
Decorate your carved pumpkins with mini marshmallows or gumdrops secured with
toothpicks for teeth. Add glasses, wigs, hats, or bandanas. Bananas and radishes
make funny noses. Raisins or cranberries are freaky freckles. Carrot and celery
tops make silly hair. And gummy worms or plastic insects hanging out of the
pumpkin’s nose or mouth is sure to gross everyone out! (Important tip: Don’t
light votive candles in these pumpkins. It’s a fire hazard.)
Scary Bathroom Decor - Put a Skelton in your bathtub with a little water & red dye, with low lighting.
Put some rubber spiders on the toilet tank, & hang some coiled rubber snakes over the towel rack.
It is suggested to spray non-stick cooking spray on your tub
so your “blood” doesn’t stain.
Splatter some old white handtowels with fake “blood” and hang them for your guests.
If your computer’s in view, seat a skeleton in the chair, mouse in hand.
Gather up some plug-in or (preferably) electric ‘candles’ that are usually displayed in windows at Christmastime. cheaper Paint them black, and drip some red paint- ‘melted wax’ along the top. Be careful not to get paint in the bulb socket.
And stock up on flicker bulbs!
Halloween: Costume Ideas (3)
Wicked Witch:
Use a black choir robe or old black dress from Salvation Army Thrift Store. You
can buy black satin and make a caftan.
Space Aliens:
Use turtle neck sweaters with tight pants. Use old bathrobes. Drape yourself in
a tie-dyed bed sheet. Glue sequins and felt designs on old suits with Elmer’s
glue.
Frankinstein:
Use an old green coat and black pants. Slash up the coat with a razor blade and
slap red paint on it.
Robot:
Wrap yourself with tinfoil. Get an old set of coveralls and spray them silver.
Phantom of the Opera:
Wear a black suit with a cape. Be sure to scar up your hands.
Ghost:
This is always an inexpensive costume. Just cut holes in an old sheet. If you
don’t have an old one, I found a twin size one at a discount store for $3.00. We
cut holes in it, drew on some chains, spider web, etc.. with a permanent marker.
Angel:
Use a sheet like for the ghost, spray it lightly with some clear spray paint and
toss glitter on it before the paint has a chance to dry. Make a halo and the
wings out of clothes hangers covered with aluminum foil.
Clown:
Use mismatched oversized or too small clothes from everyone’s closet…to escape
the cost of a wig, make a hat from construction paper or use an old one,
decorate it outlandishly with flowers, pins, etc…
Princess:
Use one of mom’s old slips, hem and take up enough to fit little girl. You can
get sparkley netting at a discount store for between 75 cents and $1 a yard. 2
or 3 yards attached to the bottom half of the slip will make a billowy skirt.
Use a long length of it doubled and wrap around the shoulders, clasp it with a
pretty pin. Mom’s jewelry and makeup add the finishing touch.
Soldier or hunter:
Living in the south, everyone we know has camouflage clothing, just piece together what ever combination you want, apply some paint to the face. We borrowed a canteen, compass and backpack from a friend we was a boy scout.
WOLFMAN:
Slash up old clothes to wear. Get some brown fur and cut it up and glue it on
hands and neck.
QUASIMODO:
Cut up burlap to make simple tunic or use old bathrobe. Use old clothes from
Goodwill Industries.
COUNT DRACULA:
Make a cape out of one square yard of black satin. Use an old black suit for the
clothes. Make a white vest from a bed sheet.
AUTOPSY:
Tear up old clothes and splatter red paint on them.
CREATURE FROM THE LAGOON:
Use green leotards or a wet suit or green body paint.
OLD MAN OR WOMAN:
Use old clothes. A man can use a black coat and cane. A woman can use an old
long dress.
Laundry Basket Halloween Costume
Cut out a hole in the bottom of small plastic laundry basket that’s just big
enough for the child to fit through by stepping into it; attach a pair of
suspenders to the basket.
Have the child step into the basket and adjust the suspenders so the basket is
hanging at a comfortable level. Surround them with different clothes. Add a box
of Bounce to the top of the clothes. Cut a hole in the middle of an empty box of
detergent and place it on their head to wear as a hat.
For the final touch, pin socks and underwear to their hair.